


Big Book of Homestuck Oneshots

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Multi, NSFW, oneshots, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:31:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yeah I got really bored and didn't want to publish whole stories on weak one chapter story idea that I just randomly started typing up. I do take requests wanna see something in here that isn't there type it in the comments below and I'll do the best can but mainly I'm starting out with my Otps.





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Kankri Vantas you are the 9.69 sweeps old which is way too old to be fucking with a 9 year old, but you’ll get to that later. You are sitting in your favorite cafe with you're loving matesprit, Cronus, and your husktop. You were currently going through your various social media accounts, because even though you don’t like to admit it your true social justice warrior comes out when you log onto websites like tumblr or Youtube.

Well, you were tumbling down the most offensive posts that you’ve ever read, when suddenly someone started pestering you . Who ever could it be? You wonder opening the pesterlog. No one ever pesters you except Cronus which can be quite annoying sometimes but you know he does it out of love. You hope it’s Latula another thing you don’t like to admit is that you still have flushed feelings for her. But most it's most likely Karkat he is your dancestor after all.

When you open up the pesterlog you see it's the nine year old you mentioned earlier, and maybe perhaps saying ‘fucking around with a nine year old’ wasn’t an appropriate thing to say, but he is your kismesis, his name is Equius Zahhak, and it looks like he sent you a video you might as well humor him and at least look at what he sent you.

You really loathe Equius and his alleged racism it’s one of the many things you hate about him. There’s a whole sermon you could give based on all the things you hate about him or maybe you could type it all and annoy him now but you decide to save it for later just to spite at him.

Anyways you were about to watch this promiscuous looking video. You pull the earbuds out of your husktop bag and plug them into your pointy ears. You play the video and immediately regret the decision because what Equius ended up sending you was a pornographic image of him fucking you're dancestor on his work table and one of their friends had to be recording this because the camera kept switching angels really capturing the look of absolute pleasure on Karkat's face.

The more Karkat’s expression was shown your facial expression kept filling with utter discuss at this horrid display of courtship. In fact your face was filled with so much disgust that when Cronus came back with your french vanilla he was actually concerned about you.

“Kankri are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes Cronus I’m just peachy keen I’m so fucking fine!” You snap covering your mouth trying to mutter out an apology. “Cronus I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-,” he stops you in mid sentence.

“It’s not a problem kanny I’m actually glad to see you expressing yourself avidly I’m just a little hurt that you blew up at me,” he said.

You blush, “Oh,” you mumble forgetting all about the eight minute video that was presented in front of you.

He takes a seat next to you trying to catch a glimpse of what you were watching before you close it because there was no way you wanted him knowing about this, “Whatcha watchin chief?” he asked curiously trying to pry the husktop open playfully.

“Nothing just an ad,” you lie.

“What was it too triggering for you babe???” he teased.

He wasn’t lying the video you watched was triggering and were you going to give Equius a piece of your mind the next time you saw him which was going to be really soon.


	2. More Equikat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cause why the fuck not

I am a simple body guard to a young highblood named Gamzee. My job isn't very hard it was just me and him in the beginning until he took in a lowblood and not just any lowblood a mutant. I had no problem with him he calmed Gamzee’s rage. His name was Karkat Vantas and he lived a comfortable life  so much so that he felt comfortable roaming the halls and that’s when he decided to stop by my office.

 

“I know this might sound kind of weird,” he started.

“What?” I asked trying to hide the irritation in my voice you’ve never seen a man more in need of a nap.

“I’m lost,” he muttered out embarrassingly.

 

I looked at him sympathetically getting up from my desk and took him by the hand and led him down the hall and then up the stairs and it was only a matter of time til we were there. He said to wait outside til the moment was right. I stood outside the door until I heard the sign I opened it up and knew I was about to score. 

 

His legs were spread and he begged me to stay. I shut the door behind me and  unbuckled my belt I couldn’t believe what I was about to do. 

I climbed on top of him and pulled his sweatpants down. Our faces met and I made a meal out of him and his face. This was so tempting I might as well call him bait. 

 

I woke up the next morning the sheet covered in our genetic material  I wished that last night was a blur but it wasn’t I remember it all his hot body soft moans and the way he wanted more. I couldn’t deny him what he wanted so I gave and I only hoped that the master wouldn’t find out and carry us to our graves.

 

He woke up and and gave me a smile and it was the most beautiful smile that I’ve ever done see I might of let it take ahold of me I leaned in for a kiss he didn’t say no. 

 

Another thing that I wish was that would be the last time but I always invited him into my office when the moment was right. We did it on the floor, we did it in the chair, we did it on the desk and we did it everywhere. These were truly moments of weaknesses but I could not deny that I love eating out his cherry pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was also listening to Say no to this from hamilton

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote more of but didn't really want to continue


End file.
